Sickness

Sickness.

I’m thankful for it.

Sometimes sickness forces me to stop – not pause – but come to a complete standstill.

Today I had to lie abed, pain throbbing, shivering, stuffy head, vocal chords defunct. All I could do was lie there and look around.

I saw today.

My eyes drank in baby brother snuggled close to big sister in the reading corner to hear the words of one board book, then another, and another. No one directing this activity, no one suggesting it.

I saw middle sister kneel at our prayer couch and call “time for prayers, Jonathan!” because Mommy was not able to utter a word.

I saw obedient little feet running when I clapped my hands or snapped my fingers to bring my voiceless command to their attention.

When I could no longer see for having to squeeze my eyes shut because of an excruciating headache…

…I heard.

I heard “…then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee; How great Thou art, how great Thou art…” floating in from another room in the voice of an almost 4-year old

I heard the sweet words “poor Mommy” whispered close as they passed my way on their various destinations around the house.

I heard the soft snoring of stuffy little noses during naptime, when I myself was forced to be silent.

(I heard more silence today than I’ve heard in a long time. Could it be me? Could I be the one raising the noise level in the house with my constant direction?)

Today I felt.

Not just the strains that this illness was placing on my physical body…

I felt sweet, tiny movements all day long. Usually I’m running to and fro so much that I don’t feel many little flutters at this stage of pregnancy. However, today, each tiny kick was a sweet “hello”.

I felt little arms around me as one child after another paused to hug me to try and make me feel better.

I felt my children close as I, in turn, gave hugs of comfort to my little sickies. I felt their nearness more than I usually take the time to.

Although my sense of smell was absent, I was still able to taste things. Things that I need to taste – over and over with each illness I experience.

I tasted helplessness.

I tasted pain.

I tasted dependence.

Sickness has a way of bringing me to my knees. Frailty and weakness have their moments to shine. To care for my family when I feel so awful feels impossible without God strengthening me.

To taste pain gives the gift of empathy for others who suffer chronically.

To taste dependence is sometimes elusive for this over-achiever.

Today, for some reason that I am thankful for, I was given insight into the opportunities I had.

To see,

to hear,

to feel,

to taste…

…what wonderful blessings, indeed! 

Do You Feel It?

There seems to be a bit of tension in the air these days. Do you feel it?

People are worried about the economy, about their jobs, and about some of the changes that our new President is making or considering making. There is quite a bit of low rumbling in Dan’s office about changes for their company on the near horizon. Every day he talks with co-workers who are uncertain about what lies ahead for them in their positions. They are worried and uneasy.

It is definitely a very uncertain time for many people. Do you find yourself spending a good amount of your time worrying about current events?

One way that I try to keep myself from getting wrapped up in the uncertainty is to stay away from too much news media. We try and check our news online every couple of days. It’s not usually the plain ‘ole news that is so troubling as all the commentary about the news. It’s easy to get wrapped up in one man’s opinions of another man’s opinions of another person’s opinions. There are SO many opinions about the news that it’s easy to get caught up in all of the TALK. If we listen to it constantly, it’s easy to get worn down.

Keeping my eyes focused on God’s Word is another way that I can avoid getting too stressed out about current events. I like the lyrics to this song by Phillips, Craig and Dean:

You are God alone,
From before time began
You were on Your throne
You are God alone

And right now,
In the good times and bad,
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

It helps me to keep things in perspective when I think of God, outside of the “thick” of human events. He is not worried about what will happen. He is not wringing His hands, wondering if His people will be provided for. Although He is allowing human beings to go our own way and cause all sorts of problems for ourselves, He promises to work even the worst circumstances out to a good end for those who love Him.

It’s such a comfort to me that even though our worries today are the same worries shared by people of long ago, God still has the same answer for us:

 ”Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

“For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

 ”But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

 ”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:31-34

Another thing that seems to help is making a conscious decision to cultivate thankfulness. I’m not talking about random bursts of thankfulness that I might feel when something good happens. I mean searching out and taking note of things to be thankful for. Keeping a thankful list, talking with the children about our blessings as we go about the day, and sharing with others how God has provided for me are some ways that I try and do this.

Dan is a great example to me of confidence and trust in God in uncertain times. He tells me that he isn’t too worried about losing his job. He is confident that God will provide for us in some way, whether that means Dan moving us across the country to secure a new job, working 2 or 3 “side” jobs for awhile, or going west to start a cattle ranch.

Ok, maybe that last one is a bit unrealistic, but if you know Dan, you know that he can be a bit of a visionary at times.

So what about you? Have you personally felt the tension and uncertainty in the air these days? If so, how do you deal with it?

A thankful start to the year

I can think of no better way to start the year than by giving thanks to God. 

By daily practicing thankfulness, we enable ourselves to see the good in all situations, which in turn results in a joyful heart. I encourage you to join the Gratitude Community and start your own 1,000 Gifts List with me!

 In that day you will say:
       “Give thanks to the LORD, call on His name;
       make known among the nations what He has done,
       and proclaim that His name is exalted.

  Sing to the LORD, for He has done glorious things;
       let this be known to all the world.

~ Isaiah 12:3-5 

Today I am thankful for…

108.  morning hugs from the children

109.  the assurance of spring’s return

110. new mercies each morning

111.  how easily a child can forgive

112.  the opportunity to rejoice with friends in their good news

113.  the opportunity to weep with friends in troubled times

114. the encouragement of my husband in personal difficulties

115.  a hot shower at the end of a cold day

116. running water in our house!

117. a warm blanket to cover me at night

118. a bed to sleep in – even if it’s old and lumpy

119. a vehicle to transport us to church – even if it’s old and clunky

120. a timely word of exhortation from a friend

121. the well-worn floor under the dining room table – proof of the many family dinners we’ve shared together 

122.  being able to watch the sunrise (because I’m up early to do the chores)

123.  the evidences that God has left of Himself in His creation

124. thriving intergenerational relationships that my children have

125.  courage given when it’s needed

126. Grandma’s crocheting abilities

127. the freedom in America to declare allegiance to God. (I just finished reading this book and it made me even more thankful for this freedom!!)

128.  a husband who spends time with his children and actually listens to what they have to say (and sometimes that can be quite a bit!)

What are you thankful for this day?

Winter Walk

Yesterday was such a beautiful sunny winter’s day, that I could not help but bring my camera outside with me as I walked.

Whenever I grab my camera on an ordinary day, Dan usually laughs at me and wonders what I could possibly have in mind to photograph. After all, I’ve walked the same paths in the backyard hundreds of times - what could possibly be different about them today?

I have no real knowledge of photography. That’s probably why my pictures don’t ever turn out how I envision that they will. Even so, it’s so fun for me - it’s my playtime.

Taking pictures causes me to look at things in different ways as I immerse myself in the surrounding creation. I look up-close at things that I would normally pass by. And even if my less-than-up-to-date camera cannot capture the image exactly as I see it, my mind captures it and stores it away.

Care to join me for another walk? It’s very cold, so I hope that you are dressed warmly. Winter walks are, to me, some of the most strangely beautiful ones. The silence is palpable. Except for the  occasional rooster crow, the birds are silent. The hum of the insect world has ceased. The wind blows through empty branches instead of rustling leaves. I hear the crunch of snow with each and every step I take. The sunlight sparkles and I’m amazed that it can be brighter outside during the coldest part of the year than it is during the warmest.

Ok, my walking companion is waiting eagerly to get started, so I’d better stop talking…

I never get tired of the simple beauty of icicles, do you?

Oh, look! Some deer visited last night,

 To me, these needles look draped in snowy blankets:

I wonder what wildlife has made a snug home
in those evergreens over there…

Seedpods droop sadly, having missed their autumn flight: 

 I pause in the woods, now transformed into a cathedral of white. 
The creek is almost frozen through. 

On our way back from the creek, my eye catches the sleeping
beauty - our garden – quietly awaiting spring’s return

And to think that if I didn’t have any farm chores, I would still be in my warm house, missing all this beauty (like I did last year)!

Thanks for joining me!

Thanking, still…

I started my One Thousand Gifts list one year ago and I’m only up to 102 gifts! Oh dear! I see so many little things that I’m thankful for each day that I don’t record. I’ll try and remember to share them here more often. I love sharing the daily blessings I witness and I love hearing about yours as well. Did any of you start a thankful list with me? If so, how are you doing on it? Be sure to check out Ann’s Gratitude Community page to join in with the many others giving thanks on their blogs! 

So, let me dive back into my list with a few things I’ve been thankful for lately:

103. The safe arrival of baby Gideon -
congratulations, Elise and family!

 

104. the determination of a toddler -
falling and standing, falling and standing

105. watching a first walk through crunchy leaves

106. happy helpers – munching leftovers from the garden

107. pure joy on a swing

Fall evenings await

Now that the days are growing shorter and colder, we are spending less time in outdoor pursuits in the evenings. We will miss those long, warm evenings of summer that seem endless while being experienced. Surprisingly, however, we are welcoming the upcoming fall and winter evenings spent indoors.

There are so many things that we’ve missed since summer’s early beginning:

• Made-up games to play with Daddy that have *almost* slipped into the recesses of little girls’ imaginations
• Guitar that has rested under the shadow of the piano – waiting to sing again
• Small towers of magazines that have accumulated since spring, no one able to spare the time to glean the new ideas, recipes and tips held within
• Mugs to hold warm milk sweetened with honey to assist little ones (and big ones) off to dreamland
• Books – oh, the wonderful storeis that we’ve missed out on in the evenings – starting back this fall with All Creatures Great and Small and then on to Swiss Family Robinson.
  

Each season brings such wonderful things to look forward to!

Tell me, what are some traditions that your family has for the fall season? How does your family spend the long, dark evening hours together? I’d love to hear your ideas.

One evening last year: dark outside; full of music and fun inside

Glass half full

It’s been a summer full of garden troubles.

It’s been a summer full of delicious garden food.

Although both of the above statements are true, I’m choosing to focus on the 2nd one. It’s easy for me to get discouraged when I look out at our hard work and see plants dying right and left from some sort of pest or disease. But when I look at what God has blessed us with, I really can’t complain.

We’ve been enjoying:

• Many, many fresh salads during June and July from our lettuce
• Swiss chard for quiche, soup, salads and for steaming
• Fresh slicing cucumbers for snacking anytime
• Zucchini
• Green peppers
• Several weeks of the best green beans we’ve tasted in a long time!
• Fresh chives for our baked potatoes and to use in marinades
• 9 gallons of blueberries
• 2 gallons (so far) of blackberries
• Enough pickling cucumbers to keep us in pickles for AT LEAST a year



[Pickles were Dan's project for this year's garden. He's already made enough pickles to fill 40 quart jars. What are we going to do with 40 jars of pickles?!?!??]

We’re still watching with anticipation our:

• Tomato plants that survived the wilt – some of the tomatoes are starting to turn red!
• Butternut squash – I can already taste the butternut squash soup!!!!!
• Pumpkins
• Amish pie squash
• Minnesota midget melons (they’re like personal-sized canteloupes)
• Hot peppers (for Dan’s ‘famous’ salsa)
• Potatoes

“Nevertheless He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good, gave us rain from heaven and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness.” – Acts 14:17

(thanks to Ann for pointing me to this scripture today)

Joy in the little things

Continuing to discover One Thousand Gifts…

93. a purple haze across the field – I love how God uses wildflowers to paint the landscape!

94. soap (especially for these wonderfully dirty days of summer!)

95. a rainbow found in the garden – blue berries, dark green and red chard, purple string beans, yellow pumpkin flowers and black berries

96. tiny, wrinkled hands

97. eager hands helping to pick berries

98. a stack of books from the library, just waiting to be opened

99. new friends made through blogging

100. the sound of bees busy at work

101. the feel of the calloused hand of my husband in mine - a sign that this ‘office-desk’ man is working hard for us around the homestead

102. spending time outside just *being* with my children – going slow and enjoying life