When Day is Done

When Day Is Done
By: Edgar Guest 

When day is done and the night slips down,
And I’ve turned my back on the busy town,
And come once more to the welcome gate
Where the roses nod and the children wait,
I tell myself as I see them smile
That life is good and its tasks worth while.

When day is done and I’ve come once more
To my quiet street and the friendly door,
Where the Mother reigns and the children play
And the kettle sings in the old-time way,
I throw my coat on a near-by chair
And say farewell to my pack of care.

When day is done, all the hurt and strife
And the selfishness and the greed of life,
Are left behind in the busy town;
I’ve ceased to worry about renown
Or gold or fame, and I’m just a dad,
Content to be with his girl and lad.

Whatever the day has brought of care,
Here love and laughter are mine to share,
Here I can claim what the rich desire–
Rest and peace by a ruddy fire,
The welcome words which the loved ones speak
And the soft caress of a baby’s cheek.

When day is done and I reach my gate,
I come to a realm where there is no hate,
For here, whatever my worth may be,
Are those who cling to their faith in me;
And with love on guard at my humble door,
I have all that the world has struggled for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is this how our husband feels when he walks into the home in the evening?

In what ways can we prepare our hearts, our homes, and our children to be a sanctuary for him at the end of each day?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

“The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”

Proverbs 14:1

Walking together

The new number that graces the top of the calendar looks fresh and crisp somehow. Maybe it’s the thin paper that it’s printed upon, no other months piling up behind it. The turning year beckons me like a clean page in a new journal, just calling me to write. The coming days may hold exquisite beauty or unbearable pain. January is the brink, just full of possibilities.

And so I step out into it, this brand new year – step out into the sunshine for a walk with my beloved.

We haven’t always walked together, he and I.

In the beginning, not long after those loving words and promises evaporated into the air, different words settled in that were not so loving, so gentle. Some were barbs that stung and twisted in- cold phrases and looks that chipped away hours and days of our lives. Things were said for which forgiveness was never offered and words went unspoken and the years went on and on…

We settled for walking alongside one another and yet not together.

When we first fell in love, I thought I understood it. The kind looks, the loving gestures, the thoughtful surprises ~ these things came naturally and it seemed that it would always be that way. Yet I really didn’t know anything about real love:

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

I Corinthians 13: 4-7 (New Living Translation)

It’s amazing how little my love for my husband reflected this passage in those first years. Yet I was so consumed by my own desires that I didn’t even realize it. We fell into patterns of what we considered love and remained there.

Eight years later, I’m taking a look at love anew. I’ve had time here at my parents’ home to do some thinking. Even though I had told myself that I’d long since forgiven unkind words or actions from the past, I began to realize that I hadn’t allowed myself to fully trust that I wouldn’t be hurt again. I had continued to walk alongside all these years, but fear had compelled me to remain at a distance.

On one of the shortest, darkest days of this winter, we peeled back the years and revisited our own darkest days. We spoke aloud to each other words that long had since needed to be said – a meeting of broken souls too long walking alone. And for a brief moment, I got a glimpse of what love can really be.

As the calendar flips again, we find ourselves on the cusp of a new chapter in our lives. It’s time for new things for our family. Soon we will be in our new home – not just a different house, but a new way of doing things and a new way of thinking. A new farm name and a renewed involvement with extended family. A chance to start over again, taking all we’ve learned from our experiences in our last home and putting them into practice in the place of our dreams. A fresh start…

Is it possible to learn new ways of loving as well?

We walk and talk.

As the morning sun shines down on the two of us in this fresh new year, I look at him differently. Almost like a new friend, someone that I’m just getting to know but yet seems like I’ve known forever. And just like I did years ago as a teenager in the empty pages of my journal, I begin to scrawl out a list of the things I like about him.

But unlike my teenage crushes, I realize that this man is a gift from God just for me – one that is supposed to complete me. I will begin afresh with the practice of gratitude and determine to be thankful for the man he is right now. Not the man I hope he will become someday, not the man I hope I may mold him into, but who he is.

We walk on together.

It’s a new year and it’s brilliant out here.

Counting the multitude of gifts I find when I consider him.

Today I thank God for my husband…

385. His willingness to learn new ways

386. His hand-written notes that show up unexpectedly

387. His courage

388. How hard he works to provide everything I need and want

389. His dedication to Bible study every day

390. His hands

391. The songs he sings to me

392. His calm, collected demeanor in times of distress

393. The way he can cheer me up when I’m discouraged

394. A man who does the “no-fun” work – starting the car when it’s 0 degrees outside, carrying large buckets of water to the animals, stirring the oil into the peanut butter, cleaning out hair from the drains

395. His commitment to me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for joining me as I add to my list of One Thousand Gifts ~

Gifts from my Heavenly Father that I unwrap daily.

Have you received any gifts today?

Join in the Gratitude Community by clicking the link below:

 

7 years

Yesterday Dan and I marked our seven year anniversary. We actually celebrated this past weekend with an overnight trip! We haven’t been away from the children overnight in about 5 years, so it was a big deal to us.  We were amazed that we found someone willing to watch not only our 3 children, but also to take care of the chickens, turkeys, baby chicks, dog, cat and milk the goats! My parents did a great job of taking care of everything so that I did not have to worry at all (barely).

It took me so long to get out of my “mom” mode, that I was wondering if I would ever be able to do it. For example, every time we passed a farm or farm store on our way, I barely caught myself before the words “Look, Jonathan – TRACTOR!” slipped out.

We stayed at a bed and breakfast 2 hours from our home, but in an area of the state along Lake Huron where we hadn’t been before. The B & B where we stayed the night was very luxurious – more like a very small resort, really – and best of all, QUIET. Our room had a huge jacuzzi, a fireplace, our own deck overlooking the beach, and a super-tall king size feather bed to sleep in. It was very tall so we could see out our window to the beach without even sitting up in bed! I was glad that I wasn’t 9 months pregnant, or I wouldn’t have been able to hoist myself up onto it. We were very spoiled there but both decided that we couldn’t live like that every day, being lazy and pampered.

The following day, we hiked along the beautiful AuSable River. We brought a picnic lunch to eat along the river. Here are a few pictures of our day.

Overlooking the river before starting out

Through the woods

Different bluff where we stopped to peek

Good idea: Walking down stairs to see
beautiful springs down below
Bad idea: Walking down 300 stairs to see
beautiful springs down below

Oh, aren’t they just beautiful? 

Here’s me before I hiked back up.
I look like I can handle it, don’t I?
Notice that I didn’t take a picture of myself once I got to the top!!

On our way home, we decided to have ice cream for dinner as it was very hot and our car has no air-conditioning. I’ve always wanted to try ice cream from the Cold Stone Creamery, but there isn’t one near our home. I was so excited to see one on our way home! The woman gave me a super-huge “medium” waffle cone. Maybe she noticed that I was eating for two.

It was so nice, just spending time together and being able to have an entire conversation without someone interrupting us. Of course, we were happy to get back to our children. We’ve kind of gotten used to them being around and also, we’ve kind of taken a liking to them.

A fancy dinner

Last night I had the pleasure of attending an award banquet for Dan and some of his co-workers. He was being presented with a special award that only a few people ever achieve in his company. The award is for excellence in innovation and production. (The division that Dan works for designs electric power steering systems in cars and SUVs.) I was excited to go and see him receive the award, not to mention finally getting to meet some of the people he works with on a daily basis.

It was held at a beautiful clubhouse downtown. No one would ever call the city we live near beautiful, but the building we dined at last night is one of the few “bright” spots in town. It was one of those fancy-pants places. We couldn’t even enter through the grand entryway – after we ascended the beautiful steps, we found a sign that read “Members Only”. We had to enter through the less-pronounced side door. So much for feeling like we were actually “someone”!

 

Once inside the building, we stepped into a room full of people that I had never seen before. I consider myself a friendly person, but even I was intimidated by the sea of faces. Thankfully, we were given name tags so we wouldn’t get too confused. As we mingled (or “schmoozed”, as I call it), Dan would start talking to a co-worker that he knew. After he introduced me as his wife, they would often start talking work, mostly about things I know nothing about. So, I usually tried to strike up a conversation with the spouse who was also standing there like “huh…?” A few of them were friendly, but many of them just kind of stood there. One lady even told me flat out, “I don’t like to mingle.” Imagine that! :)

As excited as I had been to meet Dan’s co-workers, I was happy when we were escorted to the third floor dining room to, well – dine.

When we found our assigned seats, I quickly whispered to Dan, “Who are these people? Do you know them?” Turns out, we were seated with 3 other couples, only one of whom Dan knew. Two of the men were big, rich, high-uppity people in the corporation that Dan had heard of, but never met. Oh dear. I determined to keep my mouth shut so that I wouldn’t say something to embarass Dan.

 

We listened to one of the high-level men tell stories about a car that he had that he sold for $285,000 at some (supposedly) famous auto auction out west. He looked around the table and asked if any of us had been there before. Dan and I laughed in our heads as we thought of the noisy, clunky car that we had parked out in the lot. So, the night went on with stories about money and world travels and such, with one of the rich wives saying “Bon appetit!” every time a course was served. The only thing that made dinner passable was the one middle-class couple sitting directly next to Dan. We exchanged stories about our children during the few minutes that the other man was eating (instead of telling stories.)

I didn’t say anything too embarassing because I kept my mouth shut most of the time, just in case. I didn’t spill anything and I used the right silverware. I did, however, have the waitress visiting me quite often to ask if I was done. She would look confused when I said I was still working on my food. I was informed by one of the wives at the table that perhaps I was putting my silverware down in the wrong place on my plate, thereby signalling that I was finished.  Oops.

 

When dessert was served, I told Dan that I suspected that someone in the kitchen had eaten a good portion of my chocolate cake. It was the thinnest piece of cake I had ever seen, about a 1/4 of an inch thick! I ate it VERY slowly to make it last. (And it was rich).

Finally the awards ceremony commenced and I sat there proudly when my hubby walked up to receive his award. I decided against the little cheer that I had worked up. It just didn’t seem appropriate under the circumstances.

 

As we were leaving the building, I called home to see how the children were getting along with Grandma and Grandpa. We haven’t left Jonathan with a babysitter since he was about 7 months old! (Yes, we really need to go out on dates more often!) When we found out that all 3 children were already in bed sleeping and that everything had gone well, I suggested that we just stay out for awhile! Alas, we had to return quickly so Dan’s parents could make the hour drive home before they fell asleep.

Although I’m glad that I went, I’m also glad that it’s over because I’m not really the “schmoozing” type. I’m so proud of Dan, though! He works with “all his might” for that company, so I’m so pleased that he was acknowledged for his hard work.

6 years ago today

Happy Anniversary to my
wonderful husband!

 

To do today: stir

On my to-do list today:

• Pot roast in crockpot for dinner
• weed and water garden
• clean bathrooms
• vacuum house
• make banana muffins
• make spice cake and frost it
• mend crib bumper and pajamas
• wash diapers
• practice reading with Abigail
• shop eBay for gift
• train dogs
• make biscuits
• make salad dressing
• pick flowers for table
• give all children baths/nails

Should be on my to do list today:

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works (Hebrews 10:24)

One commentary says this about verse 24:

Let us diligently and attentively consider each other’s trials, difficulties, and weaknesses; feel for each other, and excite each other to an increase of love to God and man; and, as the proof of it, to be fruitful in good works.  The words “to the provocation”, are often taken in a good sense, and signify excitement, stirring up, to do any thing laudable, useful, honourable, or necessary. 

As I go about my day with the children and Dan, am I attentively considering their difficulties and weaknesses? Do I watchfully assess them as they live each day and look for opportunities to excite them toward good works, especially in an area where they are struggling? I can’t be too busy for this important task!

Edit: I completed my to-do list for the day, including the additional task of stirring up love and good works in my children! Thank you, Father, for Your help in doing so.

Emptying out my brain

Hi! I’m surprised at how long it has been since I’ve shared my thoughts here. Life has been full. I originally typed “life has been busy”, but then took those words back. I’m trying to get out of the habit of saying that “I’m so busy” all the time. Whenever I say that, I feel stressed out or somehow trapped by the many activities of my days. It can cause me to be unhappy in my current state, wishing for slower or more carefree days. Instead, I’m trying to appreciate what each day holds and be happy with what I’ve accomplished. Whether that be checking off a to-do list of 25 things or making a real connection with one of my children while sitting in the grass picking dandelions should not make the worth of a day.   So now when people ask me how I’ve been, I try and say “Life has been full”.

We have been spending lots of time outside as a family . Dan has almost completed the goat pasture – his first fencing job! It’s been a bit trickier than he thought it would be as the pasture runs down a small hill. The girls and I have been going crazy with seeds. We have 9-10 flats full of seedlings on our sun porch, with green popping up everywhere and roots trying to escape out the bottoms. The little covered garden work area up against the pole barn is perfect for the messy job of transplanting that we’ve been doing. We’ve used it many times so far this spring. Of course, we’ve been still been spending much time out with the dogs, working with them as they learn to obey and fit in with the family. We’ve been enjoying our many lilac bushes for the fleeting time that they will bloom. I’ve encouraged the girls to stop by the lilacs each and every time they walk outside and breathe them in, as they will be gone before we know it. Sometimes, in my rush to get something done, they remind me to stop and smell the lilacs. I’m always glad when they do.

Our neighbor’s goat delivered a baby a few weeks ago, and we just got over to see it this weekend. It’s a baby pygmy goat, so it’s really tiny. The children and I enjoyed watching her jump around and play hide-and-seek with her mother. It got us excited to think about adding our own baby goats to the farm this August. On Mother’s Day, we stopped by and visited our baby goats at their current home. I want to share more about that fun visit in another post this week!

[Ginger and Gabby in their current home]

Since I’ve last written, big changes have been occuring in our views on food. Upon Holly’s recommendation, I read the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. The book is about how a family lived for an entire year simply on food they grew themselves or bought very locally. Dan and I already feel strongly about trying to slowly convert over to growing most of our own food – that’s why we moved to where we moved to – but this book had some fascinating information in it that we didn’t know. Namely, about how seeds are manufactured here in the US with genetic engineering and how major seed companies (actually chemical companies) are changing the face of farming in our country. Farming isn’t that interesting or “cool” of a topic for modern Americans to think about on a daily basis, but it really should be. (I mean, shouldn’t we care about what we’re eating?) The book has caused us to look even more closely at the foods that we are consuming.  Julie had a link in her sidebar this week to a documentary entitled The Future of Food. You can watch the introduction to this fascinating video here. It will give you lots to think about. (Thank you Julie for pointing this out to us!)

I’ve also been going through a major shift in my thinking on a very personal level. I’d been struggling with being really stressed out about everything lately and feeling as though I just “couldn’t handle” my responsibilities. My mom loaned me a book about perfectionism from a Christian point of view. I’ve always struggled with perfectionism, but thought of it more as just a “personality characteristic” that I could/should do nothing about. But as my life has progressed and more responsibilities have been added to it, I’ve found myself struggling more as I try to keep everything under control. The book really gave me much to think and pray about. I’ve slowly been mulling new concepts and ideas in my mind for a few weeks now and with God’s help, I can see small changes beginning to occur. Big paradigm shifts usually take some time. I think this is why I’ve not been posting as much. I’ve been busy thinking.

I was emailing my little sister the other day about some of the struggles I’d been having. I was relating how I didn’t feel ”at one” with Dan lately for various reasons and how frustrated I was about it. I didn’t feel as though I was throwing a pity party, but I guess that’s how it came across. She emailed me back a firey letter that REALLY caused me to stop and think. Since when did my little sister have advice for me? (Ok, she’s not really little, she‘s 24 and married herself)  Here is a portion of what she said. The last part especially, hit me, so that’s why I underlined it:

 All I know is, that if you don’t find it in your heart to love and accept him fully (even if he is not 100% the same as you would want him to be), then it’s your fault just as much as his that you don’t feel 100% “as one.” He’s never going to be perfect, but it’s our imperfections that make us so unique and lovable. If he was a different man, you never would have loved and married him. So why try to change him now?

Since you said you were a perfectionist, maybe you’re just trying to force…the “perfect” family and/or marriage…

…I’ve just learned that no matter what happens or how much I want something, nobody is perfect, and it’s inhuman to try to be. You can only do the best you can, and love life for what it is. We’re not on this earth to get everything we want, we’re here to serve. But through serving, we get everything we want and more.

There is always so much to think about and learn. That’s what makes life so interesting and exciting to me. We never stop learning if we desire it to be that way.

In regular old, daily news, Jonathan has started solid foods. He was SOOOO ready to start eating – I think he would have preferred if I started him on solids about a month ago! I was so excited to find this solid wood high chair in great condition at my local thrift store for $8.99! The plastic one that we had was much larger and therefore took up more space, stuck out like a sore thumb in our dining room and one of the feet kept falling off whenever we moved it. So, this is a step up for sure!

Abigail has been steadily becoming a more solid reader and writer. She wrote her first little “thank-you” note the other day on her lined paper. I really believe in doing everyday things as “schoolwork”. Writing a note to grandparents or a widow who needs a lift is GREAT writing practice. They don’t mind if the letters aren’t perfect!

Ok, now that my brain is emptied of a few things, I’ll be able to get back to regular, SHORT posts.

Above my sink

As a busy mother of young ones, it’s sometimes difficult for me to have one continuous thought, let alone meditate on anything during the day. I’ve finally found a tool that has helped me greatly:

 

I found this French board all alone way up high on a clearance shelf. It was marked down by 90% to $1.50! I was jumping up and down when I found it. Dan wasn’t so sure why I was so excited. I’ve wanted to purchase one of these boards for a long time, but the price just seemed too high for me. This one just “happens” to match my apple-themed kitchen and is the perfect size for the boring space above my sink. I spend lots of time standing here during the day since we don’t have a dishwasher.

This board has become “encouragement/conviction central” for me during the day. What do I put on this board?

• Scriptures that I’m working to memorize

• Points or ideas from a book I’m reading that I want to incorporate into my day

• New (good) habits that I want to make a part of my life

• Pictures of my smiling children – this helps me to have a good attitude about them when things aren’t going so well

• Encouraging blog posts that I’ve read, such as one from Holly entitled “What will they see?”

In my alone time in the morning, I often read things (in the Bible or other book) that are very insightful and instructive. As the busyness of the day commences, however, many times those concepts fly right out of my brain. This board helps me to have a general focus to the day (or week) because I revisit this area of my house repeatedly throughout the day.

What tools or methods do you use to learn things and remember them?