Starting small

Not long after we moved into this house last February, I found out that I was expecting Baby #5. That meant that right around the time that the spring gardening chores should be happening, I was sick on the couch all day every day. By the time I was off the couch (3 months later), I sadly found that the perennial beds surrounding the house had morphed into tangly messes. They looked as though they hadn’t been tended in several years, with ground covers, scrubby shrubs, perennials, renegade trees and weeds all jumbled up together. It was all too overwhelming to deal with, so I just looked the other way all summer. (A hard thing to do with so many beds!)

One of the small beds near my bedroom door

There are 10 beds around the main house and 3 around the carriage house that, with the exception of the one by the front porch,  are all mangy, jungle-y piles of junk. I’ve successfully avoided them thus far this year as well, but I finally decided that I have to do something about them. I can’t avoid them as easily this spring because I’m spending so much more time outside instead of inside on the couch.

But you see, I have a problem.

I’m an all-or-nothing kind of girl.

I’m not good at projects that can’t be completed all at once or at least, all in a week or so. Sometimes, I even get sick to my stomach just thinking about how overwhelming of a project it is! (Sounds silly, huh?) So, I’ll procrastinate and procrastinate the project until I just can’t handle it anymore. However, by then, I’m doing the project out of pure frustration and I don’t enjoy it at all.

So, I’ve decided to finally do something about this problem that I have and I’ve decided that the ornamental beds surrounding my home are the perfect things to cure me of it.

This stuff has to be dug out with a shovel

I’ve set a goal for myself this spring – to work on a tiny section of one bed every day that I am home. And by tiny, I mean tiny. My goal is to clear out at least a 1′ x 1′ area. I figure that it may take me all the way until the fall to work through all the beds, but at least I know that they will eventually look better than they do now.

Here are two little areas that I’ve worked on so far…

BEFORE: The edge of my front garden bed: an evergreen shrub, some kind of ornamental shrub, perennials, weeds, ivy…

AFTER: Dan helped me transplant the evergreen, I moved the dianthus into the planter, tore everything else out but the ornamental shrub, and laid down layers of newspaper and mulch. I even found a couple of beautiful little hostas growing in that mess that I transplanted to a new home.

All of these hostas are either transplants from other beds or divisions from last year’s plants.
You gotta love perennials – free plants every year!

Looks like the left side of this bed needs a bit more work!

I am so thankful to have lots of help from my children.
They cheerfully come and water my transplants whenever I call.

Emma is great company for me as I work.

Since deciding to let go of my expectations of actually completing all of the beds this week (or even this month), I’ve found that I’m actually looking forward to and enjoying my time outside working on them. That weight of “getting it all done now” is lifted and I’m actually having fun!

Hooray for spring!

“I am only one, but still I am one.

I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;

and because I cannot do everything,

I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”

~ Helen Keller

Bestsellers

I don’t know if I’ve ever read a book that was currently on the New York Times Bestseller list.

In the past month, I’ve read two.

I am so under-impressed by modern fiction that I rarely pick up any fiction written after 1950.  I’m sure that there are some great authors and books out there, but I’ve had some bad experiences trying to choose worthwhile fiction so I tend to stay away from it. If I had lots of time for filtering through all the junk to find the gems, I would do it. (I love to read.) However, my children and my house cannot afford to be neglected while I read all day.

For me personally, there needs to be something of redeeming value in the fiction that I spend my time on – whether that be something educational, something that  gives greater insight into the workings of the (sane) human being’s mind or other topics like that. Violent mysteries, romances and the like fill my mind with things that I would rather not dwell on, since I have so little time for thinking about much more than my daily routine with 5 children and I want to use that “thinking time” for things that are edifying.

And as far as non-fiction, the books on subjects that I think are interesting aren’t usually found on the bestseller list, either. (Goat breeding methods or herbal remedies anyone?) This is why I really appreciate recommendations for modern books. That’s how I heard about the two books I recently devoured.

A friend mentioned The Help on her Facebook page and I thought the premise sounded interesting so I decided to give it a try. It was a thought-provoking story that I appreciated on many levels, even though it did have some unnecessary swearing (which is one of the reasons I tend to stay away from more modern fiction.)

The second book that this same friend mentioned was Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption. To be honest, this is NOT a book that I would pick off the shelf while browsing a bookstore. A war story? About an Olympic runner? And fighter planes? No thanks – not my cup of tea.

However, because I implicitly trust this friend’s taste in books, I decided to check it out anyhow.

Honestly, I found this true story very difficult to read. Not because of all the war history, or the Olympic stats, or even because of the length of the book (almost 500 pages). It was because of the middle chapters of the book that dealt with the protagonist’s time spent in the Japanese prisoner camps. Even though the author was not overly gratuitous in her descriptions, I could not believe what the prisoners endured and lived through (although many didn’t). Two or three times while reading the book, I had to put it down and say to Dan, “I just can’t read this anymore.” However, I figured there must be something worthwhile about the book – some redeeming value – so I kept going. I’m so glad that I made it through to the end of the book, because the ending was very uplifting.

Unbroken is very well written, able to capture and keep your attention with flawless storytelling and it’s not difficult to understand, but it is definitely not light reading for taking to the beach. The effect of the book has lasted throughout the few weeks since I’ve read it and I keep finding myself returning to the times of absolute hopelessness that the man endured. I keep thinking about myself and all the things I have to “endure”. They seem quite silly in comparison. I also keep being dumbfounded at the realization of how evil mankind can behave toward each other and also, what can overcome that. If you decide to read this book, be sure to check out this video after you read it. (I think the book is best appreciated if you have no previous knowledge of the man’s life.)

So, if you’ve read any other worthwhile bestsellers that may have slipped under my (very deficient modern) book radar, please leave me recommendations so that I can check them out. I would really appreciate it!

39 weeks

A few days ago, I asked Abigail to take a few pictures of me because I have not yet had any pictures of this pregnancy. I don’t want this baby to think that he or she was adopted!

And don’t go telling me that I’m not big enough yet to deliver. I’ve gained more weight with this pregnancy than with any of my other four!

In this picture, Abigail caught me turning around while I was loading more wood into the fireplace. You can tell here that I still have some work to do to get the baby to drop. I’ve been doing different exercises every day to help in this regard. We’ll see if they actually help this time!

I finally feel as though I’m mentally prepared to tackle this adventure of a home birth – well, at least I’m as ready as I’ll ever be! For now, I’m content to wait on God’s good timing for my precious new baby to arrive.

Walking Outdoors

Few things revive me like a walk outdoors in any type of weather. I asked Dan about this the other day – Why is it that I can go out for a walk in a grumpy, sullen, depressed, gloomy, stressed or otherwise negative mood and without fail, be in better spirits when I return inside? What is about walking outdoors that changes my mood? Why do I never return the same way as when I went out?

To me, his answer sounded overly simplistic: Because God is there.

After thinking about that for awhile, I tend to agree. When you’re inside, he said, you are surrounded by things that man has made. Now granted, man can make some pretty impressive and beautiful things. But when you are outside, you are surrounded by intricate creations of all kinds, whether you look up above, around, or down on the ground. The depths of the creation will keep you in awe throughout your entire life. 

When we are outdoors, the evidence of God is ever-present.

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you;
the birds of the air, and they will tell you;

Ask the plants of the earth, and they will teach you;
and the fish of the sea will declare to you.

Who among all these does not know
that the hand of the Lord has done this?

In his hand is the life of every living thing
and the breath of every human being.”

Job 12:7-10

Even in the city, we can look above us and see the awesome heavens, night or day and we can see and hear birds flying above. I remember taking many walks when we were first married and living in a subdivision. It wouldn’t seem that we could find much to inspire us within those cramped living quarters, but we enjoyed walking at sunrise orsunset during the temperature changes, out in the beautiful fresh snow, or in a light rain. (I love the smell of rain, don’t you?)

“How many are your works, LORD! 
   In wisdom you made them all…”
(Psalm 104:24)

Adding to the wonder of the presence of God outdoors is the good that the exercise does to pump fresh blood through our bodies, the fresh air that is so welcome to our lungs, and the peace that comes from getting away from the noises of modern technology. It’s no wonder that a simple walk has the power to elevate our mood and refresh our spirits.

Although I may never actually be able to pinpoint all of the benefits of walking outdoors (like I’m sure the health experts have), I know that it’s beneficial and I will continue doing it as long as my spirits need refreshing.

This past week, we finally purchased a brush hog to help keep our “Old Paths” groomed enough for us to enjoy them. Dan spent the weekend clearing path after path and we thoroughly enjoyed walking, biking and running (the kids, not me) along them until the sun went down each day.

These pictures were taken one evening as I meandered by myself at the setting of the sun:

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Baby? What baby?

During my monthly prenatal visit with my midwife last week, she reminded me that my next visit would be “The Home Visit”, a special visit that occurs at 36 weeks. My midwife will bring her apprentice and together they’ll familiarize themselves with the layout of our home. She requires that pretty much all of the supplies for the labor, delivery and postpartum period be prepared for her to look over.

As she told me this, I nodded my head, smiled and said “of course”.

Later on that day, as I reviewed the lists she had given me months earlier (that I had barely glanced over), I began to have a mild freak-out when I came to the realization that I have absolutely nothing ready!! No birthing supplies, no newborn diapers, no back-up plan emergency numbers for an ambulance service, no rocking chair for my room, no name, NOTHING! Not to mention that I had no idea where we put the infant car seat or the bassinette when we moved.

I immediately sat down and made myself a nice, detailed list of all the little things that I would need to do in the next 4 weeks before the home visit. (I love lists – they calm me down.) Dan was beginning to think me a bit nutty and hyper about the whole situation – after all, I’m only 32 weeks along.

Even after making my soothing list, however, I was still a bit troubled. It really bothered me that I hadn’t really been dwelling on the fact that there soon will be another person living with us! I just hit me really hard that day for some reason.

A real baby is on the way and it won’t be that long from now!

I’ve been telling people about my three main goals before the baby arrives for a few months now and they are these:

1. Minimize Grace’s screaming/fits and work on her obedience

2. Transition her out of her crib into a toddler bed

3. Potty train her

I’ve been so focused on these 3 goals that I believe will make life much easier (for everyone) once the baby arrives, that I haven’t spent much time dwelling on the not-too-distant future!

(By the way, we’ve made great strides with goal #1, fully accomplished goal #2 and just started on goal #3 this week. She’s been doing really well so far with potty training and I think she’ll probably have it down pat by the end of the year. Potty training is my LEAST favorite part of parenting a toddler by far.)

So far, I have been able to procure a few birthing supplies, find a nice glider/rocker chair on Craigslist that Dan will be picking up for me tomorrow and dig through my “baby attic” to see what baby items I still have left over from Grace. I found 1/2 of a package of newborn diapers in my stash and stood there gazing at them in wonder at how tiny they are. The onesies, too! It’s crazy to think that my other 4 children were ever so small!

So, reality is finally starting to set in and I would say, it has come just in time, wouldn’t you?

Well, my little one has the hiccups and so while I’m thinking of him or her as being a real little person, I think I’ll go try to engage Dan in a discussion on names again.

Things I Love: Helping hands

I thought it would  be fun to share with you some things that I love.
I may share just a picture or perhaps a few words about the item. 
(Kind of like “show and tell” for grown-ups.)

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Things I Love: Vintage wood puzzles

I thought it would  be fun to share with you some things that I love.
I may share just a picture or perhaps a few words about the item.
(Kind of like “show and tell” for grown-ups.)

……..

I love vintage wooden Playskool and Fisher Price puzzles.

I love how sturdy and durable they are.

I love how they aren’t all centered on TV characters.

I love how much my little ones love them!

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At the end of the day

We said good-bye to a member of my mother’s family this week, a great-uncle to me and friend to my children.

Very early in the morning on the day he passed away, before I had even heard the news, I came into the library where Dan was studying and sighed my heavy heart into the large, soft chair.

What is it? he asked.

I’ve been thinking about my goals for this year’s school and the goals we have for the farm. I want to have goals – it’s good to have goals – but what if my goals aren’t how God wants me spending my days? What if my goals and His goals for me don’t line up? Am I living my days well?

I had laid in bed pondering these questions for a long time before rising that morning. When I arose, my heart was troubled with the thought of not wanting to waste my life on the quest of fleeting or irrelevant goals and pursuits.

What if I miss the important things because of my own sense of busyness and accomplishment?

I believe that God created us with a desire to be productive – to create things, to plan things, and to enjoy the fruits of our labor. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being ambitious. Yet I also know that sometimes we can let our own desires crowd out what God desires for us. The areas in which He wants us to grow may never be touched if we merely follow our own agenda.

Over the past few days, a scripture has been simmering in my mind. It is one that my mother had me memorize as a very young child:

“He has shown you, O man, what is good; 
      And what does the LORD require of you 
      But to do justly, 
      To love mercy, 
      And to walk humbly with your God…”

Micah 6:8

At the end of the day, or at the end of my life, will I look back and be able to say I’d done those three things? Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with God…

Will I be able to say that I’d lived life well?

 

No answers today, simply the ponderings of my heart…

Photos: Sunset on our farm