Because He loves me
23 Jan 2012 2 Comments
in One Thousand Gift List, Thankfulness
A little blue bowl flies off the table in a rush of anger, sending tomato barley soup flying and splattering all over the drapes…
A child obstinately refuses to obey, then wails when extra chores are added for the offense…
A piano student tries to listen while I explain new scales and chords, as a baby screams in my arms and a toddler dumps out two 100-piece puzzles into one pile at my feet and then starts throwing them across the room…
A shrill beep lets me know that another mountain of laundry is ready for me…
A calculating, planning husband asks my opinion about the R-value of window shades and shades of paint for the library and I honestly don’t care and he keeps asking and we bicker…
A rush of angry words is heard above me on the balcony as two children try to “tell” each other how a game is supposed to be played…
The baby cries and cries…
And I flee to my room, to my knees near the chair by the crying baby and I cry, too.
An oft-repeated prayer that many mothers before me have surely cried, escapes my lips:
“I can’t do this! I just can’t handle all of this! Please help me – I just don’t know what to do!”
And the two words that flood my mind – Be thankful.
“What? Be thankful? For what? No one understands how much difficulty I’m having right now!”
Be thankful.
Nothing comes.
And then, all of the sudden, it hits me strong out of nowhere.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
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The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
Psalm 103: 8-18 (NIV)
I can feel my attitude change from complete frustration and anger to thankfulness.
Only thankfulness, because knowing this, how can I stay in that place?
Because He loves me – with all of my faults and fallibility, my foibles and frustrations – I have the courage to love them with theirs.
Because He has mercy on me – I have the understanding of how freeing it feels to have the chance to start over and want to share that with them.
Because He shows compassion in my weakness – I can show compassion and understanding to the other people in my home.
Because He chastens me to teach me – so I must discipline and teach in a loving way.
Because He encourages me – how can I hold back encouragement from others?
Because He strengthens me – I can continue on in good works.
So I find that I’m able to stand and face those problems outside my bedroom door with more mercy and more love.
And this is possible today because of the practice of thankfulness.
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Continuing to count the precious gifts right here in my home…
And adding these to my list of One Thousand Gifts…
#481. Being together by the fire every evening
#482. Small hands kneading and shaping healthy bread loaves
#483. Getting to know Daddy
#484. Big sister love
#485. Daddy-daughter dances
#486. A pile of kids
#487. “Fishy” faces
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Jan 23, 2012 @ 17:26:38
Oh, Anna, don’t we all have those days? Yes, thankfulness is certainly the antidote for frustration and self-pity. And to apply it even more specifically, thankfulness for the food that, although wasted, you actually have to feed your children. Thankfulness for the clothes, the home, the “things” that fill it, our husbands, our children… All of the things that, were we to lose them, we would give anything to have them back. Because when it comes right down to it, we really wouldn’t have it any other way.
Jan 26, 2012 @ 22:02:19
Thank you for this post Anna. I think you & I are in exactly the same place right now with our 4 active children, new baby, and not enough hours or energy in the day to get it all done. I may not get all of it done, but I am praying that God would help me to do what I AM able to do with a good attitude. Because after all is said and done, THAT is what my children will remember. Not that we got all the laundry done, or the school done, or that the meals were gourmet. They will look back and remember whether we showed them love and mercy and gentleness. I am failing in this area many times a day lately, but at the same time He is helping me to grow so much by gently nudging me in my selfishness, to a better place. I have to take a deep breath, remember Him, and apologize several times a day. And that’s okay.